the Purpose and the Porpoise - Part 2

The Guardian Squirrel has always existed. It’s not to say that she was never born, but it is to say that she probably will be at some point in the future. The meaning of her own existence gave her migraines; she tried not to dwell on it.

Her name was Florae, and she was hot (attractive). Stewarth didn’t find her especially appealing, but then they were different species. Florae was for the most part attractive to other squirrels.

Florae’s intervention took the shape of making Stewarth freeze in midair, so he did not fall back into the river full of piranha at this point.

“Oh, you poor little dolphin! You’re bitten all over and you’ve smashed your short little nose. I am a Guardian Squirrel, my dear little bottlenose, and I shall grant you…”

“I am NOT a dolphin!” cried our hero. “You ignorant rodent, you sage of the stupid, you…” Stewarth carried on like this for some few minutes. Florae was not a proud squirrel, however, and instead of being offended by his outburst, she felt duly ashamed of her mistake.

“My dear porpoise, I beg your forgiveness. Of course you are not one of those filthy, self-important, tuna loving creatures. The porpoise is the noblest of beasts, and for my mistake, I shall grant you a wish.”

“Do you truly mean what you say of the dolphins, that they are undeserving scum?” To Florae’s wholehearted consent, Stewarth responded: “Then for my wish I wish for the power of flight.”

Florae didn’t understand what flying had to do with hating dolphins, but she wanted this conversation to end, for she wasn’t really racist, and was only bashing dolphins to appease the present company.

With his new powerful fins and his lightweight bones, Stewarth left his former home for good, and set out upon his great expedition, the annihilation of every last dolphin.